Love Personified

If Love was a person, it wouldn't be cupid. No, sir.

If Love was a person, it would have little hands, little feet, a torso that fits into my palm, a head that is too small for the smallest baby cap in the market, tiny unseeing eyes and ears smaller than my little finger.

Being an aunt is very becoming of me, methinks. :D

Title Tales

            A cousin of mine, let's call him The Grasshopper, is an avid blogger and a wanna-be writer too. And since I am an English teacher, he seems to think I have descended from the Hyperbolic Planet of Incandescent Brilliance itself. Can you see how much pressure would that kind of assumption put on the poor little me? Here I have this space, where all I do is rant about how bitchy my colleague is or how bad a film was or how I am so single and lonely or mother woes or... Umm, well, you get the drift... And then I have this cousin who associates me with elite literature, the likes of James Joyce and V. S. Naipaul. (Just for the record, I have never been able to read more than 3 pages of either's writing.)

           So naturally, I panicked a little bit when he wanted my suggestions to title his new, personal blog. Here are snippets from our whatsapp conversation about the blog title:

The Grasshopper (TG): What do you think my blog should be called?
Star (Already terrified):I dunno... You want it to be like a diary?
TG: Something like that. But I want to give a humorous spin to what I write. And I will be writing about things I experience. Like growing up.
Star: Okay... What about TGisms? Or Board Games ka Betaaj Baadshah? :P
TG: The name will have cultural associations. I want to make the title suggest that I am writing about what I think.
Star (Totally embarassed about how materialistic ALL my ideas had been, not one featured anything to do with "thinking"): Oh, I was only thinking of student life representations, like board games, internet-streamed TV, alcohol and girl problems. Not philosophical insights.
TG: How about if we put the two together?
Star: Like Board Games and Derrida?
TG: Yes, that's nice. But something else.
Star (Totally blank. The only response "philosophical insights" had invoked was "Derrida"): Abhi bas, abhi tu soch. I am going to go to bed.

Next Morning:

TG: I thought of The Blue Grasshopper.
Star (Shit! I thought I had gotten out of that!): I am not sure I know the significance...
TG: It's random. Totally random.
Star (breathing a sigh of relief. At least I don't come across as stupid for not knowing important literature-related references): Oh, it's good! :)
TG: But the address is not available.
Star (No! Trying to wriggle out of it): So... will you think of something else now?
TG: I really wanna keep the grasshopper. But the adjective can change. Any suggestions?
Star: Err.... The Fickle Grasshopper?
TG (Probably thinking how stupid I am): All grasshoppers are fickle! :/
Star: Grasshopperopolis
TG: I want something like The <adjective> Grasshopper.
Star (Can't think anymore!): The Slimy Grasshopper. Will suit your thoughts. :P
TG: What rubbish!
Star: Oh, The Confused Grasshopper! The Urban Grasshopper!
TG: Hmmm. Sounds nice. Something classier, perhaps? Something that makes it sound like a high end restaurant.
Star (Confused): Huh? Ugh. Why do you want your personal blog to sound like a high-end restaurant?
TG: Because my thoughts will be like tasty food. All plated finely too. You know?
Star (#facepalm): The Pretentious Grasshopper
TG: :O
Star (very rudely): I have had quite enough of you, I think.
TG: Come on! How about The Lost Grasshopper?
Star: Yes, that is good. (To be honest, he could have said Timbaktoo at this point and I would have said it's good!)
TG: The Grumpy Grasshopper?
Star: Lost is better.
TG: The Gifted Grasshopper?
Star: Lost. Unless you mean "gifted" as in "special". Like dyslexic.
TG: Okay, okay!

After some time:

TG: Made it.
Star (I thank the heavens and pray hard that he never creates another blog ever again.): Yay! :)

All said and done, I really think that TG is a wonderful person and writer. Some of his poems that I have read are really good. So, once he puts something up on the blog, I will put up a link here and I hope that all of you will visit it, read it and encourage him. Hopefully, someday, he will join the ranks of his favourite elitist writers and I will bask in the glory of his first interview ever, that appeared on this blog. :P

You go, TG! :)

Tareekh Pe Tareekh, Tareekh Pe Tareekh!

I am not going to state the obvious. You all know it's been long. A bit too long. 9 months to be precise.

No, I wasn't too busy to write. And no, I wasn't having a "writer's block" either. And I had lots of things to write about too. Just no willingness to pen it down. Plus a massive inferiority complex about how silly this blog is.

Anyway. I think I am over it. Today, when I opened my account for something else altogether, I read Nefertiti's recent posts, June's happy news and HG's rants and suggestions and I realised that I really, really want to write again. :) Even if it's terrible. Even if nobody reads it. Even if no one cares. What is important is that I want to write. Thanks, guys! :)

So, what have I been upto in the last few months?

Well, I worked. I studied. I fought with my parents. I went through a bad break-up. I met up with friends. I watched a few movies. I read some books. I loved and hated my kids. I loved and hated my colleagues. I breathed in. I breathed out.

I did the most normal of the things. Went through phases - some really rough patches in school - and survived them. Still hate one of my colleagues with a passion. But it's all a part of the game.

Went through some other really rough patches in my personal life too. But even that is a part of the game, I guess.

Right now, I think I am in a better place than I have been in the last few months. (Of course, that has to do a lot with the summer holidays in school, but what the hell, eh? :P) I have finished with the Sanskrit course and so, if I pass these exams, I will have a second MA by the end of the next month. Pretty cool, right? :D What is cooler, though, is that the end of the course frees up a lot of my time. :D

With this new found free time, I have been socializing quite a bit. :) I have met lots of new, interesting people. I organised my second Free Hugs Campaign in Bombay last week. I attended a Couchsurfing meet where we cooked and organised a whole dinner at the host's place. I learnt how to ride a bicycle. (Hey, better late than never, right?) I joined dance classes.

I am preparing for a PhD application and hopefully, I will see this proposal through. I am really hoping that by August 2014, I will be in the US doing some kick ass research. :) What with the summer holidays, I am living quite the degenerated, student lifestyle of staying up until 2 in the night, waking up by 10, lazing around, reading, spending irrational amounts of time on various social networking sites, flopping down on the couch and watching TV and doing minimal work. I think I am totally ready for going back to that again. :P

I also took a fair few trips in the last year - Bangalore in June 2012, Kutchh in November 2012, Calcutta in February 2013, Nashik in May 2013 and now, going to Panhala next week. The one place I couldn't get enough of was Calcutta. It was wonderful. And 4 days were just not enough. Can't wait until I get a chance to go back again. (Maybe I should write a post about it!)

The Big Question: Will I write soon again or was this a one-off post like the last one?
I don't really know. I guess we will find out.

Until then,
Very happy to be back,
Star!

School Stories

It has been close to six months that I even opened my blogger account - whether to read other blogs I follow or to write a post of my own. That should be enough to give you all an idea of what School B has done to me. Anyway, however non-existent my personal and social life has become, the one thing that I LOVE about school are my kids! They are the reason I wake up and drag myself to school every morning. Because after all the hardwork, all the criticism from seniors, all the work piled on you because you are new, all the weekends spent in checking papers, when you enter the classroom and the children smile at you, you know in your heart that it was all worth it.

But you know it is all worth it even more when you have great classroom moments. Some of my hilarious ones:

Selective listening:
Me: During his early years as a poet, Frost got quite frustrated with the publishing industry in America and moved to England.
Student 1: But why, miss? He was married, no?!

Distraction techniques:
Student 2: Miss, if Robert Frost gave a hickey to his girlfriend, what would it be?
Me: I don't think that is relevant right now. Let's move on.
Student 2: Please, miss. It is really funny!
Me: So, in this poem, he...
Student 2: A Frost bite, miss!!

Silly jokes not meant for distraction but end up making the whole class laugh:
Me: Write a poem titled "Metaphors".
Students 3: Lets all Metaphor a drink. Geddit? *bobs head*

Make the teacher panic:
Student 4: Miss, don't you think K and I are the best couple ever?! Look at us!
Me: 1) Please stand at an arm's length from each other and 2) Lets have one cardinal rule in this classroom. No touching anyone. Whether appropriately or inappropriately. Are we all clear?
All the students: *burst out laughing*

Lastly, one non-hilarious but mushy moment for me: This Teacher's day, my ninth standard kids gave me a lovely card and some of the lines on it read: "What she lacks in size, she makes up for in energy./ We will never find a teacher who is so lively.." Made. My. Day. :D

Those have been my last few months. What about you all?

Beach

On Saturday, a cousin and I went to the Juhu beach and this is what we did:

1. Ate bhutta and chana masala.

2. Walked barefoot on the beach.

3. Looked at the airplanes until they disappeared in the sky.

4. Watched the sunset.

5. Watched the people.

6. Watched the clouds changing shapes and tried to figure out what they are. Some of the interesting ones we got were: a very fat crocodile trying to eat a rabbit, two camels sitting one behind the other, one dinosaurs, one witch, one ship, Pluto (the Disney dog), a hill, a rocking horse and two teddy bears, one of which looked a bit ferocious. 

Headlines

Following up from the last post, here are some of the newspaper headlines I've collected in the last month or so. These may help in understanding some of the deeply entrenched problems in the country, culture, society and times that we are living in right now.

1. President in land row over Pune plot size (This seems to have been resolved for the time being by her giving up on the humongous plot which was supposed to have been reserved for war widows and on which she decided to build her post retirement bunglow.)

2. State loses out on crores in rent on prime plots: CAG (There is no resolution out yet. Story in a nutshell seems to be: In a bid to get more votes, Government brought about Rent Regulation Act so many years ago due to which many people practically lost their properties to their tenants because they could neither evict the tenants nor increase their rents. One of the other similar Acts has resulted in commercial complexes in prime areas owned by the State Government paying as little as Rs. 10-80 as rents. Of course, if the Government employees' pockets wouldn't have been sufficiently filled over the years, such Acts would have been revoked aeons ago.)

3. 2 cops suspended for sexually harassing a woman-sub-inspector. (No comments here.)

4. Many drunk drivers caught but few punished, reveal stats. (In the last month alone, I have read of at least 10 different drunk and drive incidents causing in death of several people. Out of them, not even one of the drunk drivers is still in police custody today. And one of them (a Punjab minister's son) even abused the police and used his contacts to get off. So, 10 extreme cases of drunk driving in just one month reported in the media. Imagine how many potential accidents and deaths are driving around on the streets.)

5. Thane cops issue gun license to gangster. (Apparently because he was a recognised criminal in Mumbai division police stations but this information was not know to the Thane division police.)

6. 23 held guilty in Gujrat's Ode carnage case of 2002. (This one is outrageous because Gujrat riots occurred 10 years ago and the justice is being delivered only now. Also, out of the 29 accused, 3 had died in the last 10 years without having to undergo any punishment for their actions.)

7. Bangalore baby beaten, bitten because father wanted a son. (No comments again. Such headlines have become too common in the last few years to feel comfortable living in such deeply misogynist society.)

Yes, I know this is a biased post. Yes, I know many happy, optimistic, we-have-made-so-much-technological-progress-we-are-so-awesome type news also come out in the newspapers and I chose to focus on these local news. But really, somebody launching a missile to Mars does not make as much difference to me as a potential drunk driver crossing my path or a misogynist police force does.

Bottom line is that this country is soon heading for enormous catastrophes and I can see some very difficult times for common, ordinary, non-political-related people ahead of us.

Mera Bharat Mahan

On the first page of The Great Indian Novel by Shashi Tharoor, he says: India is not a developing country. It is a developed country in an advanced state of decay.

And every passing day, when I read the newspapers and when I find out new things about ancient Indian customs and philosophies via the Sanskrit classes/ books/ discussions with various people, I am more and more convinced of the truth of that statement. India is in such a pathetic condition today that sometimes, just sometimes, I feel super ashamed that I'm an Indian. And it takes a lot for anybody to say such a thing about their own country.

We are a country with such a glorious past. But for how long can we continue living in the past? Look at the condition of our country today, the psyche of the people, the political and economic condition. All you'll see is decay. One of the articles  that is doing the rounds of the internet these days shows what a substandard and absolutely filthy mentality the Delhi police has. (I'm sure you'll must have read it by now but if you haven't, here it is.) These are the people who are the first point of contact for victims of any kind, rape or otherwise. And this is the city that is supposed to represent our nation.

I started the list with that article because it is exploding the social networking sites these days. But there are thousands of such small and big examples which point towards innumerable problems faced by common Indians today. Every single day, we read articles about rapes, murders and thefts in our cities. In fact, it is so common that we read about it and we forget. It has totally desensitized us. A few months ago, one of my friends' grandmother, an 86-year old woman, was sitting in the park after her daily walk. A young man came and started chatting with her. After a while, he tried to snatch her purse and run away. What he failed to realise was that the purse was wrapped around her wrist and held on to tightly. The poor woman fell down from the bench and broke one of her bones. Of course, by this time, there was a bit of a commotion around there and the man ran away on his bike. But, in an attempt to earn a few hundred rupees, which he lost anyway, he cost the old woman a couple of lakh rupees for her hospital, fracture, tests, medicine etc bills. Plus, the added anxiety to the family members. What is more pathetic is that not everybody is able to afford such sudden and unforeseen costs. And this was a totally avoidable problem.

So, this moral corruption, which begins at such a small level has, today, pervaded every nook and cranny of our society. And it is this same moral corruption at little points that eventually become 2G, CWG, Cash for Vote and so many other scams. It is despicable how the common man is being taken for a ride by anyone and everyone around here. Corruption has rotten our Government to the core.

If all this wasn't enough, we have Anna Hazare and the Maoists, who think they can blackmail the government at the drop of the hat. The Government might not be right but this kind of blackmail is not the right way to deal with it either. Tomorrow, anyone who manages to gather a lot of media attention can ask the Government to make bikinis compulsory school uniform, donkey the national animal and demand that they kill Rahul Gandhi, can't they? Of course, these will be much more practical demands than the Jan Lokpal Bill but that is a totally different issue.

Another point I'd noted down in relation to Jan Lokpal Bill is about the people who supported it. I had once noted in the newspaper how a big group of Rickshaw wallahs were demonstrating at Azad Maidan alongside Anna Hazare, against corruption. But these were the same Rickshaw wallahs who rigged their meters and fooled the hapless customers into paying more than what they owe.

Which obviously leads us back to where we started. Corruption is not only limited to politics and corporate companies. It is everywhere around us. These rickshaw wallahs, you, me, all of us are guilty of small things. Everytime we pay the police to get our passports passed quickly, everytime we throw garbage on our roads, everytime we pay off the traffic policeman into letting us go, we contribute to the corruption problem faced by our country. We are ready to pay Rs. 150 per person to go watch a film on the weekend but if the Government levies some extra tax on some necessity, we crib. We don't want to pay the taxes, we want to throw garbage on the roads and we also want to crib about how the Government can't even keep our roads cleaned. Err, who is right and who is wrong? (I know that the scenario is quite the opposite. The Government not only collects taxes, it also doesn't clean up. I'm just talking about the mentality.)

What I'm trying to point out here is that it's a circle. Neither the Government nor the people can be completely blamed for the corruption problem. But what gets my goat is that I don't see any practical solution for it all. *This is where the anger begins.*