Mera Bharat Mahan

On the first page of The Great Indian Novel by Shashi Tharoor, he says: India is not a developing country. It is a developed country in an advanced state of decay.

And every passing day, when I read the newspapers and when I find out new things about ancient Indian customs and philosophies via the Sanskrit classes/ books/ discussions with various people, I am more and more convinced of the truth of that statement. India is in such a pathetic condition today that sometimes, just sometimes, I feel super ashamed that I'm an Indian. And it takes a lot for anybody to say such a thing about their own country.

We are a country with such a glorious past. But for how long can we continue living in the past? Look at the condition of our country today, the psyche of the people, the political and economic condition. All you'll see is decay. One of the articles  that is doing the rounds of the internet these days shows what a substandard and absolutely filthy mentality the Delhi police has. (I'm sure you'll must have read it by now but if you haven't, here it is.) These are the people who are the first point of contact for victims of any kind, rape or otherwise. And this is the city that is supposed to represent our nation.

I started the list with that article because it is exploding the social networking sites these days. But there are thousands of such small and big examples which point towards innumerable problems faced by common Indians today. Every single day, we read articles about rapes, murders and thefts in our cities. In fact, it is so common that we read about it and we forget. It has totally desensitized us. A few months ago, one of my friends' grandmother, an 86-year old woman, was sitting in the park after her daily walk. A young man came and started chatting with her. After a while, he tried to snatch her purse and run away. What he failed to realise was that the purse was wrapped around her wrist and held on to tightly. The poor woman fell down from the bench and broke one of her bones. Of course, by this time, there was a bit of a commotion around there and the man ran away on his bike. But, in an attempt to earn a few hundred rupees, which he lost anyway, he cost the old woman a couple of lakh rupees for her hospital, fracture, tests, medicine etc bills. Plus, the added anxiety to the family members. What is more pathetic is that not everybody is able to afford such sudden and unforeseen costs. And this was a totally avoidable problem.

So, this moral corruption, which begins at such a small level has, today, pervaded every nook and cranny of our society. And it is this same moral corruption at little points that eventually become 2G, CWG, Cash for Vote and so many other scams. It is despicable how the common man is being taken for a ride by anyone and everyone around here. Corruption has rotten our Government to the core.

If all this wasn't enough, we have Anna Hazare and the Maoists, who think they can blackmail the government at the drop of the hat. The Government might not be right but this kind of blackmail is not the right way to deal with it either. Tomorrow, anyone who manages to gather a lot of media attention can ask the Government to make bikinis compulsory school uniform, donkey the national animal and demand that they kill Rahul Gandhi, can't they? Of course, these will be much more practical demands than the Jan Lokpal Bill but that is a totally different issue.

Another point I'd noted down in relation to Jan Lokpal Bill is about the people who supported it. I had once noted in the newspaper how a big group of Rickshaw wallahs were demonstrating at Azad Maidan alongside Anna Hazare, against corruption. But these were the same Rickshaw wallahs who rigged their meters and fooled the hapless customers into paying more than what they owe.

Which obviously leads us back to where we started. Corruption is not only limited to politics and corporate companies. It is everywhere around us. These rickshaw wallahs, you, me, all of us are guilty of small things. Everytime we pay the police to get our passports passed quickly, everytime we throw garbage on our roads, everytime we pay off the traffic policeman into letting us go, we contribute to the corruption problem faced by our country. We are ready to pay Rs. 150 per person to go watch a film on the weekend but if the Government levies some extra tax on some necessity, we crib. We don't want to pay the taxes, we want to throw garbage on the roads and we also want to crib about how the Government can't even keep our roads cleaned. Err, who is right and who is wrong? (I know that the scenario is quite the opposite. The Government not only collects taxes, it also doesn't clean up. I'm just talking about the mentality.)

What I'm trying to point out here is that it's a circle. Neither the Government nor the people can be completely blamed for the corruption problem. But what gets my goat is that I don't see any practical solution for it all. *This is where the anger begins.*

Quick bitching type rant

I was so happy earlier in the evening. I had gone out for this stand up comedy show at the Comedy Store, Mumbai and it was all nice and all. But this place is 2 hours away from my home, like ANY decent place to hang out in Bombay. Really, the suburb of Bombay that I live in is pathetic. And obviously, this show was not going to be held at 8 in the morning coz I have to go back home. So, when I reached home after the show, it was already 12:30 or so. And of course, there were the silent looks of accusation. Conversation was impossible coz no matter what you say the only response is going to be "Of course I am sleepy. I woke up at 4:30 for you and haven't slept a wink since then. But how can I sleep if you have still not returned home yet?"

Yes, of course, everything is my fault! I should listen to you and live my life *just* the way you want me to coz if not, how will you live vicariously through me? Therefore, I must study until I die and do a "safe" job for a woman, like teaching, and be the most boring person ever on the Earth. But since I am not that kind of a person, I have ruined your life!! I'm like the worst possible daughter ever!

I mean, come on! What the fuck was I thinking? I am in Bombay, not Delhi. And I am 22, not 16! How can I even think of making my own decisions once in a while and go out in the evenings? (I *so* refuse to call this a "night out".) It's not like I go out everyday. Just one or twice a month. And even that, mostly early evenings/ late afternoons. But no. I can't ever come back from these places happy AND stay happy even later. It all HAS to be fucked up by them. 

Arguments

Parents: No, you can't.

Me: Why not?

Parents: Don't ask questions. When we say you can't, you can't.

Me, in my head: Yeah, right. THAT is going to convince me. 
Me: Sorry. Too bad that I've grown up. I will do exactly what pleases me.

Parents: If we had been strict with you from the start, we'd never have had to see this day. Now you have no regards for our emotions or any respect for us. You take us for granted. You don't ask for permissions at all these days.

Me: Oh, if I knew asking for your permission would have changed your answer, I would. You are never sold on any of my ideas. So, I have little option but to go ahead and do it anyway. Plus, I like making my own decisions.
Me, in my head: They are almost always wrong but at least I have no regrets. Also, you must record those lines. You have used it one time too many. You know that they don't affect anymore, right? Of course, completely different matter that most of the things you say have stopped affecting me because... okay, must stop having dialogue with self. They are still going on about something.

Parents: And we mean nothing to you? Does asking us before making your decision make you feel smaller?

Me, in my head: No, it changes my fucking decisions. All that emotional attyachar and pressure. And mostly logical arguments.
Me: Dad, don't start going all Bollywood on me. I like doing spontaneous things and I feel I don't do them often enough. When an opportunity presented itself, I decided to take it. That's all.

...Blah...

Parents: We don't want to argue with you.

Me: Good, neither do I. I'm still doing exactly what I want to do.

Which, btw, is going to Delhi for 3 days to visit Akshardham. :) My cousin, who is studying Architecture, has to go there as she is writing her thesis on it or something. She wants company and I want out of this city, even if it's for 3 days. Admittedly I will be able to do nothing but see the route from Delhi station to Akshardham, Akshardham itself and the route back to the station. I still can't wait to get away from here. As you can imagine, my parents are so not happy with two girls going to Delhi on a totally unplanned trip. But it's exactly that part which is giving me the *proverbial* erection.

A Letter to the Landlady of the House

I didn't tell you all last time this happened, but on the day of my farewell party, the landlady here screamed at me for no reason at all. She kept screaming random things about how I ruined her life and her kitchen and her house and God knows what else. And she did it again. About three minutes before I was leaving for my graduation ceremony. And this time, I'm going to chronicle her bitchiness on the internet forever without sparing any details.

Ms. Memo,

• You need to stop crossing lines with people. It is NOT okay to scream at them. Whether you have valid reasons to do that or not. And btw, do you like, pick occasions for unleashing this unpleasantness on me? Farewell party and Graduation ceremony. Just when I'm supposed to be happy and spending time with my friends?
• Stay away from the family, dude. One more word about my family and you will be dead meat. I mean it. I'm sure there is some or the other law about mental torture or racial harassment in this country. I am not kidding. I WILL do it.
• This might be your house but everyone here pays for living here. So, simply making rules like "No Chinese style cooking." or "No using bodywash." is not right. You would need to consult people who live here and make rules together. You might be the landlady but since you live here, you are also a house mate. 
• You most certainly did NOT "allow me to stay here for free." I'm somebody's guest here. And if you read the contract papers carefully, which I'm sure you know word for word, you'll find in there that everyone here is allowed to have guests for as long as they want. 
• You can NOT ask someone not to cook anything "nasty". Just because you are not used to something doesn't mean it's "nasty". And I especially don't think you have the right to say something like that when you eat sardines 3 days out of 7. Nobody else complains, not because this is your house and you can do whatever you want, but because when 7 people, all of different nationalities are staying in one house, people understand and adjust. Not scream at each other. Oh, and btw, really?!! Did my CHOCOLATE CAKE really "stink the whole house down for two days"? I didn't hear anyone else complaining. They loved it. And what do you mean, "I didn't offer it to you"? Isn't it the rule of the house that whatever is on the dining table is meant for the whole house? So, doesn't that include you? You do know the rules, right? Since you made them and all? You could have helped yourself if you wanted it. 
• I can't be cleaning the counters when I'm in the middle of cooking something. You can't accuse me of being unclean.
• That duvet you thought I was going to give away to a charity shop? It was there NEXT to my stuff, not WITH my stuff because I was using it for the 2 days that I was sleeping on the couch. Next time, get your facts right before accusing me of anything.
• "I boil a lot of water when I cook"? I refuse to give any kind of consideration to this kind of accusations. 

There are a lot of other meaner things that she said. But I'm exhausted. I feel outraged that I let her scream these rubbish things at me and didn't say a word. And now, that moment when I could have retaliated has passed. But now that I am no longer shocked at the kind of things she says, at least I will not keep quiet if and when this happens next time.