Arguments

Parents: No, you can't.

Me: Why not?

Parents: Don't ask questions. When we say you can't, you can't.

Me, in my head: Yeah, right. THAT is going to convince me. 
Me: Sorry. Too bad that I've grown up. I will do exactly what pleases me.

Parents: If we had been strict with you from the start, we'd never have had to see this day. Now you have no regards for our emotions or any respect for us. You take us for granted. You don't ask for permissions at all these days.

Me: Oh, if I knew asking for your permission would have changed your answer, I would. You are never sold on any of my ideas. So, I have little option but to go ahead and do it anyway. Plus, I like making my own decisions.
Me, in my head: They are almost always wrong but at least I have no regrets. Also, you must record those lines. You have used it one time too many. You know that they don't affect anymore, right? Of course, completely different matter that most of the things you say have stopped affecting me because... okay, must stop having dialogue with self. They are still going on about something.

Parents: And we mean nothing to you? Does asking us before making your decision make you feel smaller?

Me, in my head: No, it changes my fucking decisions. All that emotional attyachar and pressure. And mostly logical arguments.
Me: Dad, don't start going all Bollywood on me. I like doing spontaneous things and I feel I don't do them often enough. When an opportunity presented itself, I decided to take it. That's all.

...Blah...

Parents: We don't want to argue with you.

Me: Good, neither do I. I'm still doing exactly what I want to do.

Which, btw, is going to Delhi for 3 days to visit Akshardham. :) My cousin, who is studying Architecture, has to go there as she is writing her thesis on it or something. She wants company and I want out of this city, even if it's for 3 days. Admittedly I will be able to do nothing but see the route from Delhi station to Akshardham, Akshardham itself and the route back to the station. I still can't wait to get away from here. As you can imagine, my parents are so not happy with two girls going to Delhi on a totally unplanned trip. But it's exactly that part which is giving me the *proverbial* erection.

I am not alone!!

In feeling disoriented and depressed, I mean. Since my diary-entry of 25/03/2011 was so successful, I am going to make a diary entry for 26/03/2011 as well.. Which was a very, very good day. :)

First of, I FINALLY started learning Sanskrit. :) The teacher is a bit blah but I don't think I care just yet. I am doing something I have been wanting to do since ages and ages. And I could feel the thrill of learning a new language creep up on me slowly, the excitement of when I understood something, when I could say something that meant nothing to me a day ago and is something that is so frequently used today. Like "Aaam" means "Good bye". Or "Gacchami" means I am going. A new culture, history, story, flavour, which has slowly started enveloping me and spreading it's magic on me.I love learning new languages! :D

Then, I met Moon and one of our friends, PM, and we all went to a reeeeeally nice Goan cuisine restaurant in Colaba called Soul Fry Casa. Moon tried a veg. Thali and PM and I shared some roti, sabzi, dal, rice and we all had the best Aam Pannha and Sol Kadhi ever.After that, we went to Oxford bookstore, where there was a really nice little tea-cafe called Cha Bar and it had such an extensive variety of teas on it's menu and so reasonably priced, we were all in heaven! :D We had some Rum Tea, Passionfruit Tea and Peppermint tea, all of which were quite decent. Sitting, reading a book and drinking tea. It was so beautiful.

 

Moroccan Mint Tea - I love the way it's served

My Rum Tea ;)

 

Moon's Passionfruit Tea, her Archie's comic and the Cha Bar menu

Moon - She specifically asked me to mention that she does read more intelligent books as well. No comments from my side. :P

And the best part of the evening was yet to come after this. I met Bijli, a friend who is back from guess where? LEEDS!!!!! We talked for a long, long, loooooong time about our beautiful Leeds and how we are both going through the same things in our post-England life - depression, disorientation, hanging in the limbo, missing freedom and independence, going through the same old rutty things with our parents etc. And since she has only recently come back unlike me, who has been struggling with these things for sometime now, I was sagely giving her advice and telling her that it at least has the semblance of getting better with time. But it was so good to talk to someone who understands exactly what you are going through, who knows what you mean when you talk about a particular place or a particular habit or a particular attitude etc.

We walked down to the Land's End at Nariman point, watched the sunset and then walked back towards the station. And talked and talked and talked about Leeds and coming back to India and living in the crowded, hot, humid and noisy Mumbai. I readjusted myself quite quickly to this life here (even though I still hate the long hours of commute) but Bijli, never having lived in Mumbai before and just coming back after living 3 years in nice, little, green Leeds is finding it a bit more difficult.But it helped both of us immensely to talk about it and let it out, bit by bit. It's still not as if everything's okay now and we are happily going to accept our situation now. But, it was a sort of pseudo-catharsis, for the lack of a better word.

For some strange reason, this day, I accepted my reality (and, in a good way, not a hopeless last resort) a little bit more, fell in love with myself a little bit more and fell in love with both, Leeds and Mumbai a little bit more. I don't know how meeting Bijli did all this but it did. And I feel some happier. :)

Conclusion: Probably still bipolar but a happier than yesterday bipolar.