Thursday, June 20, 2013

Title Tales

            A cousin of mine, let's call him The Grasshopper, is an avid blogger and a wanna-be writer too. And since I am an English teacher, he seems to think I have descended from the Hyperbolic Planet of Incandescent Brilliance itself. Can you see how much pressure would that kind of assumption put on the poor little me? Here I have this space, where all I do is rant about how bitchy my colleague is or how bad a film was or how I am so single and lonely or mother woes or... Umm, well, you get the drift... And then I have this cousin who associates me with elite literature, the likes of James Joyce and V. S. Naipaul. (Just for the record, I have never been able to read more than 3 pages of either's writing.)

           So naturally, I panicked a little bit when he wanted my suggestions to title his new, personal blog. Here are snippets from our whatsapp conversation about the blog title:

The Grasshopper (TG): What do you think my blog should be called?
Star (Already terrified):I dunno... You want it to be like a diary?
TG: Something like that. But I want to give a humorous spin to what I write. And I will be writing about things I experience. Like growing up.
Star: Okay... What about TGisms? Or Board Games ka Betaaj Baadshah? :P
TG: The name will have cultural associations. I want to make the title suggest that I am writing about what I think.
Star (Totally embarassed about how materialistic ALL my ideas had been, not one featured anything to do with "thinking"): Oh, I was only thinking of student life representations, like board games, internet-streamed TV, alcohol and girl problems. Not philosophical insights.
TG: How about if we put the two together?
Star: Like Board Games and Derrida?
TG: Yes, that's nice. But something else.
Star (Totally blank. The only response "philosophical insights" had invoked was "Derrida"): Abhi bas, abhi tu soch. I am going to go to bed.

Next Morning:

TG: I thought of The Blue Grasshopper.
Star (Shit! I thought I had gotten out of that!): I am not sure I know the significance...
TG: It's random. Totally random.
Star (breathing a sigh of relief. At least I don't come across as stupid for not knowing important literature-related references): Oh, it's good! :)
TG: But the address is not available.
Star (No! Trying to wriggle out of it): So... will you think of something else now?
TG: I really wanna keep the grasshopper. But the adjective can change. Any suggestions?
Star: Err.... The Fickle Grasshopper?
TG (Probably thinking how stupid I am): All grasshoppers are fickle! :/
Star: Grasshopperopolis
TG: I want something like The <adjective> Grasshopper.
Star (Can't think anymore!): The Slimy Grasshopper. Will suit your thoughts. :P
TG: What rubbish!
Star: Oh, The Confused Grasshopper! The Urban Grasshopper!
TG: Hmmm. Sounds nice. Something classier, perhaps? Something that makes it sound like a high end restaurant.
Star (Confused): Huh? Ugh. Why do you want your personal blog to sound like a high-end restaurant?
TG: Because my thoughts will be like tasty food. All plated finely too. You know?
Star (#facepalm): The Pretentious Grasshopper
TG: :O
Star (very rudely): I have had quite enough of you, I think.
TG: Come on! How about The Lost Grasshopper?
Star: Yes, that is good. (To be honest, he could have said Timbaktoo at this point and I would have said it's good!)
TG: The Grumpy Grasshopper?
Star: Lost is better.
TG: The Gifted Grasshopper?
Star: Lost. Unless you mean "gifted" as in "special". Like dyslexic.
TG: Okay, okay!

After some time:

TG: Made it.
Star (I thank the heavens and pray hard that he never creates another blog ever again.): Yay! :)

All said and done, I really think that TG is a wonderful person and writer. Some of his poems that I have read are really good. So, once he puts something up on the blog, I will put up a link here and I hope that all of you will visit it, read it and encourage him. Hopefully, someday, he will join the ranks of his favourite elitist writers and I will bask in the glory of his first interview ever, that appeared on this blog. :P

You go, TG! :)

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