"The hole in my heart is in the shape of you and no one else can fit in it." - Jeanette Winterson
I don't even know how to begin this letter. I know it's been a long time since we haven't seen each other. A longer time since we loved each other. And an even longer time since we needed each other. I don't exactly know what caused this loss of love. But it is true that when you left, you created the hole in my heart in which no one and nothing else but you can fit in. The ache is less now, the memories slowly fading and receding. But the hole remains.
And it is the small things that only we shared that remind me of the hole. It is like when someone pulls a coconut out of their briefcase and you are the only one in the world to understand the joke. Or like when you find the last card that had been missing from your pack, just round the corner. And every time I face a coconut moment or a two of hearts moment, I feel like maybe it was worth a shot. Maybe we gave up too soon. Maybe all those dreams could have come true.
Except, of course, when Carrie thought that, she got dumped on a post-it.
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So, no, now that we have moved on, I won't think of coming back or of wanting you back in my life. But I do often wonder, is there a hole in your heart that no one else but I can fit in?
Still often caught thinking of you,
Anyway, am reading Jeanette Winterson again these days. And how phenomenal is she! Read her 'Written on the Body'. The metaphors she uses and the voice she adopts will blow you mind!