Free Booze (Music :P)!!!

Since we, here at Bookshelf, promised you all a party and free booze, we must fulfil that promise or else people will think we're a lousy party-thrower! (I mean, people probably might think that anyway, but meh! Might as well have fun trying to party than not try at all! :P) Sooooooooooo, welcome to our new place!! :D Hope you enjoy yourselves! :)

Here's a collection-of sorts of some famous Bollywood sharabi-type songs! The best one in the history of Bollywood has to be this:

Mungda has got such a sexy groove in it, any party with daaru and this song has to rock! ;)

Another one of my favourites, featuring the delectable Shabbir Ahluwalia and other not-so-delectable-regularly-but-quite-mouth-watering-in-this-one men:

Oh, I hate to admit this but it definitely seems like there is something about bad boys that attract women! Never did I like Tushar Kapoor except in this film. He generally looks so humdrum, like you know, daft, insipid and listless! But in this one, quite good, even though not Oh-My-God-he's-so-hot good. Hmmm, food for thought: maybe I have been single for so long because I get bored easily and only a smuggler or a murder can give me the excitement that I look for in my life and relationships! ::shudder:: 

Oh, this is a party and we should let go of scary thoughts and focus on some bad music but good drunken dancing! Thus, two more videos:

(Alright, since I'm having problems uploading the other video, here's the link for it!)

And since it is about drinking, I think Devdas should definitely figure in this post. Even though he was a complete loser and that film doesn't have any shake-your-booty type music, I think you can dance for at least a minute or two to this song. Oh, and Madhuri Dixit is *SO* pretty!!! There are a few women for whom I might consider changing my sexuality (but that is a topic which deserves a whole post for itself!) and Madhuri Dixit, especially when she is dancing, is definitely one of them!

And since we talked about Devdas, I HAVE to mention DevD. Otherwise there would be no sense left in this world! Btw, DevD is also, along with Om Shanti Om, the best man-made invention (that is correct, man-made invention) ever! And, in this song, just look at Abhay Deol, looking all seksi seksi while chugging his alcohol as if it is juice! Ah, what poetry is that frame! And the best part of the song is Paro, dancing in happy knowledge that she wasn't meant to be with that loser. One of my friends, Sara, happily pointed out the bewildered expression on Paro's husband's face and said, "Dude, when we get married, our husbands will look at us with exactly the same expressions!" Hee, fun, no?!! But so true! Incidentally, that was the day we were playing drinking games and revealing a lot of secrets to each other!! But again, THAT day definitely deserves a whole post (or maybe, even two) of its own! 

Did you see the brilliance in that?!! Man, I can live Dev D ANYTIME!!!! Now, that's a collection of (mostly) ghaat Bollywood songs I can dance on when I'm drunk!! :D Ok, so, just as a parting shot, here (video uploading problems again) are a few songs by a band called The Booze (an excellent band really!!) Hope you enjoy it! :) 

Bas, Yunhi (Just like that!) ;)

I realised, I've been writing too many "justifications" lately and decided to relax a bit...So, here goes: Random things about me which you probably didn't need to know but now will since you're reading this...bas yunhi!

1. I've recently updated my food blog and now, it looks all cool and professional chef-types blog! Yay, I rock! :P
2. I have also, FINALLY, mastered the art of eating with chopsticks!! :D I POLISHED off my Thai fried rice yesterday, down to the LAST grain of rice, with my chopsticks! Yay again!! 
3. I started following a few new blogs and realised we have awesome bloggers in the world! Especially, June and Vampire Doc here. Hehe, very funny! Go, read! 
4. My house ALWAYS smells of catpoo and fish! :/ I don't think our landlady eats anything other than fish. And even though I'm friends with the cats, it's impossible to go into the kitchen without scrunching up your nose because of the fish and catpoo smell! Hmph. Oh well, hardly 3 more months more to stay in this house before I go back home, baby!! :D
5. I've been using the expression "Home, baby!!" way too many times for it to be considered normal! BUT, in my defence, I'd be going back home and back to my beloved Mumbai after 13 VERY long months! So, I'm allowed some over-excitement. :P
6. For sometime now, I've been thinking of changing my blog name to something funkier. Any suggestions?
7. I HEART BOLLYWOOD!!! :D I've never seen anything more brilliant than Om Shanti Om in my life!! (Take that bewildered and aghast look off your face and stop judging me. ::pause:: Now.) I have a special relationship with Bollywood, where I love to hate it and hate to love it! (S, my lovely Yankee friend, tells me that if you purely love Bollywood, then there is something seriously wrong with you. The only way you can love Bollywood is by hating it. And I think she has pretty much nailed my relationship with Bollywood. Does that make any sense to you? Because I think it's perfect!) Oh, and this should come as #1. I don't know how I didn't put it before frivolous things like catpoo and fish smells! 
8. I'm just doing this list because I read somewhere that lists have come back in fashion in Blogworld. Hmm, which makes me wonder because I'm generally not the sort of person who follows fashion. Comfort is more my style.
9. I don't like being kissed in the morning without having brushed my (and him, his) teeth. 
10. I would very much like to write fiction except that I'm VERY creatively challenged! :( But, because I have made this promise to the sacred God of chick lit and to myself, I WILL write THAT one book at least at some point of time in my life. 
11. A boy I have a little crush on said he likes the way I write!! :D :D :D Now, I write the way I think and talk. So, if he likes the way I write, it means he must like the way I talk! Which means, he'd want to talk to me more and thus, hang out with me more! Oooh, finally, some excitement in my life after MANY months of being single! ;)
12. I totally made the last one up but I wish it were true! *sigh* :P

Ok, since I wrote about non-worry like and very cool things, I feel awesome right now! :D Happy blogging, world! 

Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off!

Cool song, btw! Check it out! :)


But, I want to write this post on a more serious note. No, no, please don't go away!!! Come on, I promise I won't bore you. (in a small voice: too much) Ok, so, if all of you have abandoned me, then I'll just go ahead and talk to myself! ::pouts::


According to an article in Forbes, lying is good for you. "Hell, yeah!!" is what I say. Here's what they say:

If I told you lying was good for you, you probably wouldn’t believe me. But trust me--I’m not lying.

Simply put, we lie because it works. When we do it well, we get what we want.

We lie to avoid awkwardness or punishment. We lie to maintain relationships and please others. And, of course, most of all we lie to please ourselves. Whether we’re embellishing our credentials or strengthening our stories, we often tell untruths to make ourselves appear and feel better.

You know where I lie the most? To my parents. They think I'm their goody two-shoes daughter, who even though a bit rebellious, is essentially chaste. No alcohol, no nicotine, no grass, no sex. And I lie. To keep those beliefs intact. I used to lie because I was scared of them, scared of punishment. Now, I lie because I'm afraid of hurting them. They are just very conservative Indian parents scared for me. (Hell, they don't even let me wear sleeveless T-shirts or Bermuda shorts!) And since I'm an only child, and a girl to top that, they are naturally a bit too protective of me. I completely understand them. But, honestly, I can't stop BEING the way I am because they don't approve. Does that make me a horrible, horrible person? Actually, no it does not. But, the conditioning that we receive ever since we are 3 seconds old always plants that guilt in me. Just the other day, my parents were trying to video-chat with me and I had a massive hangover. So, I lied and told them that I was busy. Small deception compared to the fact that they don't even know I drink. But, I felt lousy about lying to them. I guess we all feel lousy when we lie to parents. But, do you have another option that will not break my parents' hearts AND let me live my life?

Besides, it's not like I have any addictions. Social drinker. And I've smoked and smoked up about twice in my life. Don't plan on changing that statistic for a long time anyway. You know, all in the right company, people I trust. And never in a place or to the extent that I wouldn't know or wouldn't be able to go back home safely. I agree mishaps can still happen. But mishaps can happen even when I'm perfectly sane and sober. I don't see the harm in a little bit of fun. Especially, if it happens less than once a month. So, I don't think I should be judged for that. Not that I care if anyone else judges me. The only people I care about are my parents. The problem is that my parents care if others judge me (because, ultimately, they'll be judging them by judging my upbringing.) So, since a=b and b=c, a=c and I have to take utmost care that nobody who knows my parents would know about my life. And oh, this is so tiring! (That is also the reason why blogging helps me a lot! Sigh, catharsis!)

Damn it, why is life so complicated! It'd be *SO* much easier if I didn't have this alternative life hidden away from my parents! But nooooooooooooooo! All that sanskar mumbojumbo and all! It won't matter then that I have had brilliant scores all throughout my education, won't matter that I respect people, won't matter that I still have enough humanity in me to want to help lesser-privileged people, won't matter that I mind my own buisness and don't judge people for being who they are, won't matter that I am a good human being. All that will matter is that I let them down by not following every single thing that they ever said to me.

Again, damn it. I sound like my parents chain me down to traditions or something. They don't! They are wonderful parents and more liberal than a lot of people's parents I know! But, I guess my personality clashes with a LOT of their values! It's like I live on the north pole and they live on the equator. We just don't get each other's concerns. Impossible to wrap our heads around something so other-worldly! Sigh, what does one do?

Oh, and see, I got so carried away! This was supposed to be a post on lying, not a justification of my relationship with my parents! Well, anyway, I hate the situation. But, for the time being at least, I can't even imagine telling them the truth. Maybe sometime in the future, when they trust my judgements more... Until then, lying and dishonesty are my friends.

PS: Incidentally, if you happen to know my parents (or worse, fall in the category of people who are not supposed to know this part of my life but somehow have not only found my blog but also figured out who I am,) I'd appreciate if a) you don't judge my parents for umm, what I've turned out to be and b) not mention this particular part of my life to them.

Ok, peace out!

*Pictures courtsey Google.

Chaat chats...and more food things! :P

I've been having massive cravings for chaat in the last few days. You can get almost ANYTHING Indian here, where I live. This city is full of south Asians, mind you, FULL of them! But, chaat a la Mumbai?? Uh huh. No luck there! :( There are some places, where they sell these ready-made packed chaat things. These can go, compete for the World's Worst Chaat Award. 

Anyway, what's the point of eating CHAAT from BOXES?!! Chaat can only be savoured, like REALLY savoured, when you stand in front of the street vendor holding out your small pani-puri bowl and he keeps serving you until you are finally tired of eating and also astonished to find out that you just ate 4 (yes, FOUR) plates i.e. 24 puris!!! Chaat tastes the best when you are sitting on the sand on Chowpatty (no matter how dirty it is supposed to be) and watching the activity around you - innumerable little children playing and screaming around, people selling little toys, light thingamajiks and balloons, the butta-walah, the chana chor garam walah, the small girl force-selling flowers to young couples whispering sweet-nothings into each others' ears, expensive cars zooming past on the adjoining Marine Drive. And chaat tastes the best when you know it is going to be followed by absolutely delicious Malai Falooda Kulfi, right there on Chowpatty! *drool drool* 

Mumbai is the Food Heaven of India. [Even though my sweet ex-flatmate, Ruhi would immediately knock me down on that one and insist that NOTHING can compare to Calcutta when it comes to food. As would my other friends, Sharmila and Misty.] I still maintain that Mumbai is the Food Heaven of India. Come to Mama Star (that's me, you silly billies!! :P) for planning your food night around Mumbai! ;)

So, lets see, Chowpatty is obviously a hot favourite with me. Other favourite (late night) street food place I DIG is this pav-bhaji guy in Haji Ali. He starts his buisness at around 9 pm and stays there late into the night. He generally stands close enough to the Haji Ali juice centre. So, pav bhaji at his thela followed by a Ganga Jamuna (For all those who don't know, Ganga Jamuna is that typically Indian thing, which includes orange and sweet lime freshly squeezed juice) or a Sitaphal smoothie at the Haji Ali juice centre and you feel like you have died and gone to Heaven!! Third on the list of favourites would be cheese schezwan frankie from this small place called Krishna Dairy near King's Circle. Ask all the Ruia, Poddar and Khalsa college people and they'll tell you where to find it. That frankie, really, is to die for! Everytime I went to my cousin, Udu's place, I'd eat it. And I went to Udu's place a whole lot more than courtsey calls for! :P Next in line would be the place that I used to frequent with CPV. You know, it was like, "our place" for food whenever we were in Bandra. It was this south Indian food thela outside Elco market in Bandra. And, they make the world's BEST Cheese Dosa. You all lucky people who are in Mumbai ought to try it out!! Another great and cheap place is Canon pav bhaji place right outside the CST railway station. But, the food here is relatively spicier than other places. I and Moon often ate here during our second year of college and then drank a glass of buttermilk to top off the pav bhaji. Ah, what bliss! :) 

And then, there are other times, when you have some money in your pocket, baby!! ;) For those special occasions, my absolute favourite is 5 Spice, opposite the Reserve Bank building in Fort. Best bloody chinese in the world!!! And what's more, you get an awesome ambience to go with your food too!! Advice from the expert: try the teriyaki noodles. If you don't make a single orgasmic noise after eating that, clearly something is wrong with your tastebuds! :P Another great place (and this is the place you'd have to eat chaat if you can't stomach street food) is Kailash Parbat, also in Fort. I have gone here so many times with my Alliance Francaise friends, I've lost count of it! In fact, if I remember clearly, CPV and my first "official" date started here with all the AF friends and then, culminated at our favourite place, Marine Drive (two of us alone, if you are wondering! :P) 

For the dessert-y type things, you MUST try malai gola at a couple of gola walahs near Five Gardens. Gola with cream and falooda on a sultry summer evening and dude, you're all ready to groove!! Then, there is a very small ice-cream shop bang opposite Ambassador in Churchgate called Rustom's Ice-cream. Ice-cream sandwiches - all of their flavours are *SO* good!! And their lychee slushie is *VERY* recommended as well! ;) And then, when you have some good moolah, Theobroma in Colaba is the way to go! Sigh, Mumbai! You pretty, pretty, lovely thing! I'll be back hugging your air and gorging on your delightful food in just 3 more months!! ::goes, does a little jig and comes back::

I'm hungry now! And I want chaat so badly! :( Time for some strawberry smoothie, baby! The only thing that can make any pangs go away. At least momentarily! :P 

PS: You all are welcome to add your favourite food places, favourite dishes and favourite food experiences! :) Do tell me more!


*Pictures courtesy: Google images

Oh Torture, thy name is Hangover!!!

Aaaaaargghhhhhh!!!

That's my headache, which has been threatening to kill me ALL day long today!! Isn't hangover just supposed to last for some time and then go away when you take measures like drink lime juice, eat greasy food, take an aspirin and sleep well? Well, apparently, not all hangovers go away so easily. How else would I learn my lesson? Never again will I drink because I'm angry or upset. I was fine with just being a social drinker. I won't turn into Devdas' female colleague.

But honestly, why did I get the world's worst hangover after just 3 glasses of wine, I will never understand! Maybe, like Sun told me, it is because I might have had the "special vintage wine from the region of Migrainia." Now, if only they wrote out warnings on the labels, "Beware! Migraine Wine ahead" at least naive people like me would know what NOT to buy. Hmph. So, basically, I just wasted my whole day today, sleeping off my hangover and not even getting much better.

The only "work" I did in the whole day today was publish recipes for the cake and the brownies that I had baked yesterday on my other blog. (Oooh, they were yummy! Recipes can be found here and here. But, unfortunately, I wasn't sober enough to appreciate them well enough yesterday. And, today, I find out that my house mates had finished ALL of both yesterday!!) Well, I'll look at the positive side and think what a big compliment that is, instead of cribbing about not even having a chance to properly enjoy my own baked goods. I guess, this is a part of the "lesson" I needed to learn. Oh Providence, lesson learnt! I'll never again drink to drown my sorrows (that sounds so dramatic!! Hehe, I should be renamed as Drama Queen! :P) and I'll never again be so drunk that I can't appreciate food! There. Now, please take away this horrible headache!

When I write my book....

So, I've finally decided the direction that my life is going to take in the next few years. No, I'm not challenging the Gods, because we all know that if I do that, I'll be doomed. We've all read Greek mythology at some point or the other, haven't we? But, I'm BESEECHING the Gods to listen to my pleas and make this happen for me! Simply because I'm so confused that it took me ages and several headaches to come up with this "final" plan for myself. And, I'm publishing it on the internet, just so that it seems more concrete and so that I don't back out of this one to run amock between 5 other possible plans. Again.

Right. So, I'm going to go home in October, work for a year and then, come back here in October 2011 for my PhD. And, I'll be doing my PhD in Popular Culture. Chick lit and chick flicks, to be precise. I know, I know, it sounds fantastic and all! :D It sounds the same to me and to a few people from various universities, whom I'd emailed my research ideas. So, fingers crossed, my funding application will be accepted and I'll start my research next year! :D That's my fabulous plan for the next 4-5 years.

The hitch: I love chick lit!!! What's the problem, you ask? The problem, my dear readers, is that I am an ENGLISH LITERATURE student. So, my job is to analyse and criticise. Make no mistake, it can be positive criticism. But, popular culture rarely lends itself to positive critical debates. There is going to be a lot of bad blood between me and my favourite kind of fiction for the 3-4 years. I'll be condemning the stereotypes, disapproving it's impact on naive readers, denouncing its high-handedness in dealing with the subaltern and attacking its typical, non-literary style of writing. ::weeps:: What's worse, I might even start believing some of all this to be true!! I've always maintained that you should not write dissertations or thesis on something that you love passionately. That's why I'd never "study" Harry Potter or any other children's fiction that I grew up with. But, you can only go so far with something that you DON'T love. So, when it came to a commitment of 3-4 years, I HAD to choose something that I love so that it'll sustain me for that long.

That being said, I hereby, make a solemn promise to the genre of chick lit, that when I come out of the whole PhD thing, I will definitely write a popular fiction, chick lit book. And, my book WILL have ALL the stereotypes in it: Single city girl, living in either Mumbai or London, working either in publishing or as a free-lance writer, shoe and bag fetishes, 2-3 close girlfriends and boy shopping with them, at least one gay best friend, nicotine addiction, alcohol silliness and hangover stories, at least one weed experience and making fool of yourself, probably at a beach or a pool party, looking for a needle in the haystack of alcoholics, workaholics, commitment phobics, people with girlfriends or wives, misogynists, megalomaniacs, chauvinists, emotional fuckwits or freeloaders and perverts, and because I'm me, a dysfunctional (not in the sense of broken, but just very conservative and scandalized by their daughter) Indian family. There, now that I've made that promise to chick lit (and to myself,) I feel like a huge weight has lifted from my shoulders. :) Yay for Chick lit! :D And all of you, who love me, please pray that this plan does work out for me! Please!

I'm "fat" and I'm loving it!

No, this is not a disparaging post on McDonald's and obesity.

It's about me. I'm telling the world that I'm "fat" and loving it! Ok, ok. Those of you who know me might probably be ready to jump up on me and say "You are not fat!!!!! Bloody hell, you are tiny!!!" I agree. I'm tiny. And I certainly don't qualify to be called "fat". Actually, that word has so many politically incorrect connotations that nobody should be called "fat". Healthy, overweight, plump, obese even. But not fat.

So, then, the question arises, what the hell am I writing about? Well, I'm writing about my aunt, my uncle, my other aunt, my other uncle, my cousin, my other cousin, my parents even and a whole lot of other aunts and uncles and cousins from my large, super-extended (stretched out like a rubber band) Gujrati family, all gasping at how much weight I have put on in the last few months, ever since I came to the UK! I bet a lot of them must be thinking (and probably even saying out loud) that if this continues, it'll be difficult to find a good groom for me. This must stop!! I must excercise, work out, join a gym, eat a fruits-only diet, stop eating out, maybe just come back to India where I will generally feel less hungry because it's not as cold. Yes, right. Thank you all for your invaluable advice. What would I have ever done without you all?!!

Btw, may I point out to you all that I have put on a couple kilos of weight, my waist has gone from 26 to 28 and now, my figure doesn't look like a Barbie doll, I-would-fall-down-if-I-were-a-real-woman but rather, a little bit more proportioned. And most importantly, that I'm happy with it? I don't understand why a woman's beauty is associated with being thin!! I understand that I'm very short - just 5 feet tall, in fact and therefore, if I get too bloated up, I'll look like a balloon (which, btw, is not always necessarily bad!) But, I think I have a fine figure right now. The important thing is that I'm healthy - neither underweight and anorexic nor overweight and obese. That is what should be important. But, not to my nosy, interfering relatives all over Mumbai. They want me (and every other girl in the family) to be like one of those skinny model-types because that's the only concept of "beauty" they'd understand. Fair, flawless skin, skinny build and you never have to worry about the girl's marriage! *tight lipped smile you give people when you don't agree with them but CAN'T disagree with either because it's "not polite" to argue with elders* Gah. I just wish they'd leave me alone!

How do you uproot this absolutely stupid obsession with looks and a certain body-type? Especially for women. With men, everybody acknowledges that certain body-types are hot and preferred. But, if a man doesn't have that, at least he is not plagued by the WHOLE WORLD about how it'll hamper his future prospects. I don't know how many generations it'd take for my family to realise that! Moreover, media, with it's fascination for younger, thinner, fairer women doesn't help either. Don't my aunts and uncles remember how they used to drool over Asha Parekh in their youth? Probably still do. But if any girl from our family has the same body type, she'll immediately be relegated as "fat." And I'm not even going to start on the whole be-beautiful-and-thin-for-guys-to-like-you-for-marriage-because-marriage-is-everything-in-your-life crap.

Sigh. *shakes head in resignation and says "bade log, bade log"* :P