A 12-year old conversation

A whispered conversation with my friends when we were all about 12 years old that I just remembered:

Girl A: How could you invite him home? You know what all boys want, no?!
Girl B: Yea, but I told you, Girl C was there with us as well!
Girl C: Yea, but what do you mean all boys want this?
(some blank spots)
Girl A: Yea, it seems for the girls, the size of your breast increases after you do that and for the boys, the size of their you-know-whats.
Girl B: And you also have to put it in your mouth!
Girl C: Ewwwww!!! I'll never do that! That's where they pee from!!
Girl B: But then, if you don't do it, you'll never have children!
Girl D: Well, you know, my uncle and aunt. They never do it. They don't have any children. They have been married for more than 10 years now.
Girl A: But you have medicines with which you don't have babies but you can do it. That's what your uncle must do, of course. Or else, he wouldn't like your aunt because he was forced into the marriage.
Girl D: No no, it was a love marriage and they don't take any medicines! I know. They just don't do anything.
Girl B: They must have good self-control, no?
Girl C: What's there to control? It's dirty anyway! Maybe your aunt thinks like me and asked her husband to not do it.

I'm not quite sure if I'm happy I've grown up. I feel jaded and wish I could have that innocence again. But, I suppose since I have grown up, I might as well enjoy my knowledge, no? ;) ::wink wink, nudge nudge:: :P

Too idealistic......Do I ask for too much?

My dad told me last night that I shouldn't get married. Sounds like FINALLY my parents have realised that it's ok to not get married and have kids before you can blink, right?!! But no, what he meant was, I shouldn't get married. Ever. Because I'm too idealistic. I ask for too much. A marriage is all about compromise and I won't be able to do that. Thus making both, myself and my partner unhappy. So, I shouldn't get married at all.

Wtf?

The whole discussion began from where, you know? From my PhD topic. Can you believe it?!! I was telling them about how I want to do post-feminism and popular fiction etc. And my dad said that he thinks all the feminist type people are a bit too much. I totally lost it and of course, I retaliated. *rant alert* Of course they are a bit too much. They have to be. Because of people like you. And people who think like you. If and when I marry someone, I intend to always be treated as an equal. Does that mean I'm asking for too much from my partner?

I will not dissolve my entire personality and go to live in his house, with his parents and adapt to their way of life. He doesn't have to do that. Why should I? I want to set up my own household, where both of us will together make new rules. [To my dad: Us making new rules WILL involve making compromises for me as well as him. So, I'm not scared of compromising or adjusting. I just have a problem with it if I'll be the only one doing it or I'll be the one changing 75-80% of my way of life while he only has to make some extra room in his drawers. That is what I mean by equality.]  I will expect my partner to share the household responsibilities. And mind you, I don't mean that he'll "help" me in household work. Because you help someone in THEIR work. If he lives in the house, it's his house as well. So, it's his duty as well to cook and clean. So, it's not "helping" me. It's doing his own fucking duty. If both of us work. If both of us earn money and stay out of the house to work, why would it be only me who cooks and cleans? My dad said: Relationships are not contracts. No, but they come quite close to being like contracts. I'm not going to make my partner sign an agreement about how he should cook on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays and clean on the rest of the days or anything. But, if he expects me to do all the things all the time, he'll probably stop getting food until he realises I'm not the type. (Though, of course, these things will be pretty clear even before that stage comes. So, there'd be no question of that.) My dad totally told me off for thinking this way because things are not like that anymore. Doesn't he work and "help" mum in her household work? Of course he does. He makes tea for all of us and puts away the utensils and stuff. But, there are many times when we have a lot of relatives over at our place. And almost everyone knows how Indian system works. Guests are treated like royalty. So, they won't do anything. But, in out family, ALWAYS, all my aunts and female cousins will gather in the kitchen and start doing stuff along with my mum while the men all sit out and chat. So, the women will make food, serve the men first, then eat and then, clean the whole fucking thing up. While men sit, chat and eat. Why? What have the men done so much that they need to be treated like that? Have they just come back from ploughing 15 acres of farmland? Or from cutting down logs and logs of wood? Or have they all just had some kind of an accident? No. That's just how things work. And, my dad will never touch a thing in such situations. Because then, his (and my mum's) "reputation" will be ruined in front of all the family members and they'll gossip for years and years to come, all implicating that my mum is a bad, bad influence on my dad and she has totally wrapped him around her little finger. Coz you know, that's what women can do. Either be Virgin Marys or be the evil Komolikas. No grey shades allowed for them at all. And, believe it or not, this is 21st century Mumbai!

How can the "feminist types" not be too much? They have to be if they want to assert their individuality! But the moment they want to do that, they are told that they are too inflexible. They can't compromise and so, shouldn't get married at all! How about this father? I like my romance and sex. So, if I don't get married, I'll not just get it like I do now, but also flaunt it (because I don't like having a secret life that I have to hide from you to save your emotions and your precious "reputation"). Suits me. You tell me if it's alright with you.

The sitcom that is my life...

Last November, on the Bonfire night, I had gone out on a date with this Greek-Albanian guy I'd met randomly somewhere. It was absolutely the most boring date I've ever had! He could barely speak proper English. How he stayed in England is a mystery to me. But, his English was so basic, that once we asked each other what do we do and where we are both from, we were pretty much stumped for conversation. Coming from such varied and rich cultures, we should have had LOADS of things to talk about. But the moment I'd say even ONE big word in English, he'd start looking all perplexed. And explaining things to someone who is hyperventilating for not understanding is not my cuppa tea. I asked him if he liked reading. And he said, "No." Yea, just that, no explanations, no asking me if I did, nothing at all. Just, "No." And THEN! He said, he liked singing. And he started humming a song. In Albanian. In the crowded, noisy bar. IN MY EAR! How I wanted to burst out laughing! Needless to say, I never met him again. 

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A couple days ago, my father asked me what I was trying to tell him the previous night. I told him that I was asleep even before he came back! So, obviously, I didn't talk to him. How could I have told him something? Apparently, as it turns out that he had come into my room after I had gone to sleep and when he was there, I mumbled something in my sleep and then shouted out numbers "2100" and "2500" before going back to sleep. I have absolutely no clue what those numbers meant. I just know that it's dangerous if I talk in sleep because fortunately, this time, I was talking to my dad in my sleep and shouted out numbers in Gujarati. But what if I was talking to someone else? Like Sun and Moon? or Atom? My dad would be scarred for life! :P

***********************************

Later that day, Hoppy came to our house and both of us were fooling around. Then, Hoppy went and laid down his head in my mum's lap. I got jealous and shooed him away and went and laid my head down in my mum's lap myself. Hoppy, being the mischievous little brat that he is, came and snuggled in next to me, subtly trying to nudge my head out of my mum's lap with his own head. There was much tickling and laughing and we both ended up taking pretty pictures of lovely bhai-behen ka pyar in my mum's lap. :D

Last night, I went to Hoppy and my grand parents' place. My aunt (Hoppy's mum), my granny and granpa and I, we were all talking about adult worldly things, like reconstruction, building towers in place of old buildings and houses etc. Hoppy got bored and piped up, "Granpa, have you also worked in a construction company when you were young? How do you know everything about everything? If my cycle is broken, you repair that. If the bulb or the fan is not working, you repair that. If there are problems in the building, you know the solutions. Why do you do everything?!! This is your age to shut up and do your own religious things, no?"

When you watch THE worst play ever, you torture your blog-readers with its details

I watched the world's worst play EVER yesterday. A Gujarati play called "Ek Aham ni Rani" (An Arrogant Queen.) I often watch Gujarati plays with my family on Sundays. Gujarati theatre is a very good place to be, actually. It's doing really great, with good actors, directors and ideas generally. But, then, once in a while, you get such shit, you want to stop watching Gujarati theatre altogether!

Anyway, Ek Aham ni Rani is directed by Latesh Shah and the lead character is a very famous Gujarati actress, Sujata Mehta. Yesterday was actually it's premier show. Now,  Latesh Shah is actually this person who has built a whole company based on various spiritual things. He has taken teachings and precepts from all sorts of things, like Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, Osho, Yoga, Meditation, Hindu philosophy, Jainism etc and built his own "positive thinking" and "power of love" kind of spiritual khichdi. And this play can be best described as an advertisement of his stuff. Yea, I know!!

Ok, I need bullet marks from here onwards.

• The show was supposed to start at 8:30 pm and started at 9:45 pm. The excuse: Obama and traffic in the city. Answer: organisation and good planning.
• Since they were late, they tried to do things quickly coz the hall has to be emptied by midnight. And, they said dialogues so fast that I could only understand half of them.
• Also, since they were running late, they left a few loose ends without tying them up and I don't think they were supposed to be left that way.
• There was one dialogue in there, for which I hate the play with all my heart and soul: "Of course a woman should aim high and fulfil all her aspirations. But she should never forget that she is also a house wife. The home and all its relationships have to be held together by the woman of the house." If thoughts could kill, the dialogue writer and the director would have been dead about 138 times by now. 
• Latesh Shah probably tried to experiment with the character of Sutradhar (narrator) but it was one of the worst sutradhars I've ever seen. He himself played that character and kept saying things like, "If you think positive, everything positive will happen. You can't decide in your head what is going to happen. You have to take that risk." or "You should praise people. You know, if you praise people, they will be pleased and they will work harder for you. Show appreciation and you will lead a peaceful life, both at work and at home." Thank you very much, Mr. Shah but if I wanted to know this kind of stuff, I'll go and buy a Robin Sharma type self-help book. When I come to watch a play, I want entertainment. 
• There is a teenage daughter, who started "drinking, smoking, doing drugs and finally, tried to commit suicide" to escape the realities at home because her mother was so busy with all the work, she could never give her any time. May I point out that the father was a real estate broker who used to work from home? Is he not equally guilty of the girl feeling the need to resort to intoxication because the atmosphere at home is so volatile? 
• The acting was mediocre at best. The lead character often messed up the pronunciation of words while trying to say things. And the English of the characters! "Make sure that both of them doesn't get away with cheating on my company." "What a confidence!" 

I will stop now. I don't want to think about it more and give myself a headache. Or lose my readers. I hate self-help books and I would have gladly read one instead of watching this play. That, I think, speaks volumes about it. If this play ever comes to your city or if you ever think of watching it, be warned, it's going to make you want to throw up. I want my ruined Sunday and my money's worth back. hmph.

Good Deed of the Day! :)

6th November 2010 will always be special for me. :)

It's the day I donated blood for the first time in my life! :D I am super scared of needles. Hate them. There used to be a time when I couldn't care less if I had to be given an injection. But, then, I grew up I suppose. Anyhow, one of my dad's patients needed blood urgently. And my dad also went in for donation. He always does, whenever he can. He's my hero. I want to be like him. I mean, I don't want to be a doctor. I just want to be a person like him. :) So, my mum and I went along as well. Just in case we are also eligible to donate. My mum hasn't been able to since about 12 years. Her haemoglobin is very low. And I used to be underweight. This time, I was just about half a kilo under the desired weight limit. :D So, they didn't fuss and allowed me to donate. :)

It was very strange. Coz the doctor could see that I'm scared and nervous. But, he needed the blood as well. So, he only asked me once if I'm sure. And I refused to even look at the needles. Did you know they're ENORMOUS?!! Anyhow, about 3-4 minutes later, I started feeling really warm and dizzy. And I told my dad that I'm feeling a bit strange. But, he said, it's almost over. No problems. And it was! :D It was over before I knew it! And once I recovered from the dizzy feeling and light-headedness (in about 2 and a half minutes! :P) I felt a new high. The high of knowing that you did a good thing today and probably helped someone save somebody's life. Life is good. :)

I recommend everyone to donate blood, especially since so many people need it everyday! Accident cases, Thalassemia cases, operations - everyone! So, you are doing someone such a big favour AND feeling good about it! :) Besides, people like Moon and me can overcome their fear of needles. ;)

50th Post!

So, this post is about nothing except for the fact that it is my 50th post on the blog. :D And yes, you will be subjected to these kinds of posts when 1) I don't have anything else to write about and 2) It's the 100th post, the 200th one, the 350th one, the 500th one, etc.

I also have to tell you that I've crossed the 1000 visitors mark in the 3 months! :D Yay! My 1000th visitor was someone from Calicut! :D ::hearts and music notes doodles::

Thank you for reading all the crap, all the rants and sometimes intelligent things that I put up here and also for commenting and making me feel better about myself! :D ::blabbers drunkenly:: (hey, I'll celebrate, won't I? :P) "Thank you, Thank yous very muchs! I love you alls!!! I feel like the Kings of the Earths!" :D

Hoppy-isms

Hoppy, my 10 year old cousin. (See, I'm so intelligent, no?!! Happy + hopping all over the place = Hoppy! :D No? You don't think so...? :( Ah, well, I think it's an intelligent name! So, there! :P)

As children are, he is often the source of entertainment in my drab, drab life! :P 

Being the youngest in the family, he is often called "baby" by everyone. Once, when he was about 6 and we had gone to Rajasthan for a holiday, he had just woken up from an afternoon nap and I said something to the effect of "My baby has woken up!" And he just started screaming, "What baby, baby, baby?! All the time baby, baby, baby! I'm not your baby, ok?!!" causing all of us to burst into peels of laughter. On the same trip, whenever he was tired, he would say, "Uncle, my tyre has gone flat." And my dad would have to "fill air in his tyre" by basically going back to the hotel/ car if we were too far away and letting him go to sleep. Once he rested properly, he would wake up and say, "Uncle, my batteries have been re-charged. Let's go somewhere!" 

Recently, after I came back, my mum made pani-puris (golgappa, puchka, whatever you call it! ;)) and the mint pani was a bit spicier than it usually is. And he couldn't have it with as much relish as he would have like to. But of course, he can't say that my mum made a mistake in cooking. It's an ultimate insult to her! :P (Now that I think of it, it's awesome that he's learning that so soon, when he's only 10. I think there are some thing boys must learn from their mothers' wombs and come. And not criticizing women in something that they are good at is one of them. It's the recipe to a healthy life. :P) Anyway, since he couldn't say anything to her, he turned on my dad and screamed, "Uncle, if you want everything spicy, why don't you keep some chillies separate for yourself? Why do you make aunty put them in food for everyone? Now, no one except for you can eat this!" And boy, did we all laugh! 

See his naughty smile? Here's what he must be up to: 

Mischievous that he is, he used to always pull my leg. (Ok, you probably will too, if I tell you why but hey, I'm possessive about my things, ok?!! :P) I have a specific plate and a specific spoon that I use in my house. No one else should use it and I definitely don't use anything else. And Hoppy, knowing this, just before I sit for my meal, will grab my plate and spoon and serve himself. And I scream at him and everyone else in the vicinity. :P Then I went away to England and Hoppy was bored. So, he turned on to my father and started doing everything that he does. He would want to sit in the same chair that my dad uses and drink tea from the same cup that he uses. So much so, that once, my mum was scared that both of them will break the chair and ordered two new, exactly same chairs for both of them. :P And if he is ever staying over, as soon as he hears my dad's bike come up inside our building, he'll go and sit next to my mum in front of the TV. Since, my dad always does that when he comes back home from work! 

Sigh. I don't want him to grow up at all! He seems to become taller and older and more mature everytime he comes here. And I wish he would just stay my baby and do silly, stupid things for us to re-capture our innocence for a few moments when we are with him!

This is him doing a silly dance pose for the camera at a cousin's wedding venue, after the ceremony was over. Hee.