Sunday, April 11, 2010

Friends for life!

"I went to the country for hiking!! It was so beautiful man, I can't even describe!! I absolutely fell in love with that town!!"
"Have you put up the pictures on Facebook?"
"Yea, you can check them out!! It was such an amazing day!!"
"Ok, hold on, will just check....ooh!! It looks great, wow!!!!!!!!"
"Hey, you were looking at so-and-so picture, weren't you?"
"Yeaa!! How did you know?!!"

This was a skype-conversation between my two best friends (Let's call them Sun and Moon, shall we? You know, I'm the Star and together, we are the Celestial Goddesses Trio! :D :P) and I, a few months ago, when I had been in England only for a month. These are the two people for whom I can give up my deepest desires and an e-mail from whom can cheer up the worst and the bluest of my days. We all know each other so well, we just have to hear the intonation of a sentence or see the flicker of an expression and we know exactly what the other is thinking! Here, I had both! There was no way I wouldn't know which picture she was looking at...

I talked to the two of them again today and we exchanged news from each of our time zones. Life takes you on such a roller coaster, you have to sometimes let go of people you love so much. And even though (like my parents would LOVE reminding me) communication is so easy today, the joy of being physically present to share somebody's life and of being able to hug them whenever you feel like is so different! So, we have to make do with virtual contact, whether we like it and want it or not....

After I finished talking to them, I was just thinking of how many such close friends I've had in my life. I realised I ALWAYS had someone or the other who used to be very close to me. But, in due course of time, we move apart and then, the friendship dwindles and is never the same again! I had a friend in school, who moved away and not just physically but also emotionally; then a couple others, who went to different colleges and chose different fields of study and even though we pretend to be close today, if I die tomorrow, they'll probably not realise for another couple of months at least! And the one that hurts a bit is the friend who moved to another country for a few years and came back completely changed! Even though she is still great friends with me and loves me, she is not the same any more. It is probably my own fault that I am not being able to accept her as she is. After all, people change over time. It is completely and totally justified and valid that you change your opinions with your experiences! But, there is still a but in this relationship for me! The one that hurts the most is somebody who claims that you are the best friend he will ever have but there is never any news from his side - no email, no call, not even a short 2-line message informing that he is alive and well (or not)! Well, it's not just his claim but truth - in the past! We used to be great buddies and extremely close friends! But, suddenly, one summer, he didn't want to be as close any more and I have still not figured out what went wrong - even after more than 2 years! I don't want to be egoistical and claim that it is all their fault that they didn't keep in touch with me...I probably must have done this to people who move lower down the ladder of priorities sometimes. And I didn't even realise it. Because if I realised I'm hurting someone, I'd try my level best to avoid doing it!! It's not a blame game....I am just trying to figure out what I wanted out of my friends, what I gave them back for it, did I do any justice to our relationship and other things like that...

Most likely, its all about growing up! All these years, we are growing up, still trying to figure out our own selves. And so, you change, the friends change, you probably don't have any more common grounds or one matures earlier than the other. And therefore, the friends you make when you are in college are probably much closer to you than the others before them. Because, by then, you are either growing up together and finding yourselves together or you are more or less the person you will be for quite a few years to come. Well, hopefully, at least!!! :P It does make a difference when you are exploring yourselves together. When your discovery of any aspect of your identity is linked with that of another person, you can't think of that aspect without your friend! You become one entity - together in this and probably a lot other things as well...

It is probably because of these reflections and previous friendships which have dwindled down to nothing that I want to hold on to these people in my life so tightly that they never slip away like the others did!! There are two people on this earth in front of whom I can lay my heart bare and who can guess what I'm feeling like and who will not judge me for doing that. I can absolutely not afford to lose them!! Their presence and importance in my life transcends words and there is so much between us that one blog or even a 100 will not be enough to encompass it all!

I probably said ZERO substantial thing in this post. But, I wanted to dedicate this return to blogging by dedicating my first post to my best friends in the world! I love you two, my Sun and Moon!


  1. I love you tooo! I have groen up and found myself with you two!!!

  2. i demand copyright violation for publishing our skype conversation :P