Friday, October 29, 2010


Mencynicism is the kind of cynicism that is born in a woman because of men. All the men she ever encounters - in her life, on the streets - everywhere. I've found that Indian women are a lot, A LOT more mencynicists than any other women I've come across.

And, now, I know why we are all so jaded and mencynicists here. *Rant Alert* I feel concious of stepping out of the house. I wear loose kurtis, tie up my hair in a tight plait, wear minimal jewellery and zero make-up. I try to be as inconspicuous as possible. And I hate it because it's not me. I like flaunting myself. But I don't do it here. I still get stared at, I still hear the catcalls, I still sense creepy men making inappropriate gestures behind me. And I'm not even someone I'd call exceptionally beautiful. I can't even imagine what the really pretty girls must be going through! My creep-radar had gone so down for the last year that it's working over-time here. And it bothers me no end. I notice the rude graffiti in the ladies compartment of the local trains and my blood boils over. Why the fuck do we have to go through all this abuse? And I can't do anything about it. ANY FUCKING THING! Coz I'm just the one. They are so many. It's me who'll have to face the consequences. I have never hated being physically weak so much as I do it now. I wish I could just go and slap these people without having to worry about the what-ifs. I wish I could make eye-contact and let them know exactly what I think of them without having to bother about what might happen later.

Some of the experiences I've had in the past: I'm walking on a crowded street and suddenly something wet brushes against my arm and I find white stuff on it. I look back and there is a sea of men whose backs are facing me. I'm walking on a very crowded railway overhead bridge and I can feel someone trying to push himself on me from behind. In the same situation, on a different day, I can feel someone trying to grope me from behind and all I can do it press my bag against me and keep crawling along with the others because there is no space to turn around and confront anyone. Besides, it's the same situation of turning around and facing a hundred different men. Who can I point fingers at? Countless times, I've got into a ladies compartment in a local train and there are drawings of penises on the seats and numbers on the walls. Countless times, I've been stared at, head to toe in that creepy manner which makes it clear that the man has obviously undressed me publicly in his mind. I've heard innumerable catcalls from the passing train when the ladies compartment of our trains passes them by. And I'm from Mumbai - one of the safest cities in India. I shudder to think what the girls and the women in Delhi must be going through! Even though I'm sure nothing will happen to me here, I am still fed up of all the indirect abuse we put up with all our lives. Do these men really think of NOTHING else at all? Is there absolutely NOTHING in their lives apart from harassing women and thinking about sex? This kind of behaviour is what makes sex a dirty thing, while it should be a beautiful, sensual thing. It may have something to do with the sexually-repressed society we live in. I'm not saying that England was a haven. Not at all! I did face some random catcalls there as well. But, I've never been harassed or creeped-out like I've been here. And I know every single woman has faced something or the other like this in her life. Probably more than once.

And if this wasn't enough, we always have the cheating and the commitment phobic boyfriends to remind us that men really only think with their penises. Is it any wonder that we think there are no decent, date-able guys left in this world?!!

*Disclaimer: I do acknowledge that not all men are like the ones mentioned above. I just wanted to point out that the percentage of men who are is too high for us to rest at peace.


  1. Very serious post... How shall I change this foul mood ? Perhaps by telling you something that I do...: I stare at pretty boys too :) The bizarre thing is that I started by staring at boys. And then in std.9, a girl crossed my path and I was simply stunned. So I dumped the boys and shifted to admiring pretty women :) I wish I had done that earlier... Tragedy... What the hell was I doing staring at pretty boys ? Baffling.

  2. heheh! Thanks Kannan! That did put a smile on my face. :) But I bet you don't have the creepy stare that puts the girls' creep-radar into working over-time! Admiring someone is a completely different thing! It's kinda nice sometimes. :)

  3. Nice post. Try retaliatin smtym, feels mega-awesome :)

  4. I used to stare menacingly before. But, somehow, I can't now... :( I will definitely try beating someone up on a crowded street though, I'm sure people will help me! :P ;)

  5. Guess every woman goes through this in her life. Sad.
    Of course. men are sex starved, probably because they hardly interact with girls, and probably also because of the importance given to chastity. girls are not allowed to get close to guys, and thats exactly why many guys see them as 'objects' rather than human.
    No one can change the attitude of most of the men at least in this century, but Women should retaliate. I guess you should enjoy the feeling when you slap someone, but just make sure that was not the wrong guy. :D


  6. Completely empathise with you on this one. We all have our creepy eve-teasing stories: being groped, poked, humped or bumped into, having lewd comments and looks targetted at us, men screaming like animals or shouting out something rude whenever they pass the ladies' compartment of a train (and did you notice it is always men in a train in full speed that happens to be passing by? They would never dare while it's stationary. Also the roof-top travellers are always atop the ladies' compartments. I don't have to wonder why.)

    Then there are also the holier-than-thou types who give you disgusted looks or abridged moral lectures because they can see parts of your body that they consider inappropriate, even if it was completely unintentional on your part.

    I'd even take that one step further and add that those of us who happen to carry extra kilos of weight or wear glasses tend to be subjected to comments that can only be described as heartless and mean.

    So, you can't be pretty and you can't try to be inconspicous or unattractive. They will still target you. However, I do think retaliating helps, even if you don't get crowd support (and often you won't). I've learnt (due to a woman who came to my rescue when I was a scared-out-of-my-wits schoolgirl targetted by an eve-teaser on a crowded bus) that a lot of these men are cowards and do what they do because they know the women are even bigger cowards and won't retaliate.