Wednesday, March 16, 2011

On why anyone, anywhere can identify with Bridget Jones

"Bridget! Happy New Year!" said Geoffrey Alconbury (uncle Geoff, Bridget's parents' friend), clad in a yello diamond-patterned sweater. He did a jokey Bruce Forsythe step and then gave me the sort of hug which Boots would send straight to the police station.

"Hahumph," he said, going red in the face and pulling his trousers up by the waistband.

(blah blah blah)

"Come on, let's get you a drink. How's your love-life anyway?"

Oh God. Why can't married people understand that this is no longer a polite question to ask? We wouldn't rush up to them and roar, "How's your marriage going? Still having sex?"


So, I went on a trip with my family yet again. And yet again, I found myself facing annoying uncle # 483 and # 484 - the first one, the pervert of the family, who this time pulled my three-fourths upto my thighs "just as a joke". And the second one, the one who has taken it over himself to hammer good sense into me and make me understand that I have to get married right away if I want to live happily ever after. And he ensures that he fulfills his duty as the elder of the family by bringing this subject up every time he sees me - 5 times a day if we are always together and also by telling everyone around us to start looking for boys for me. Bastard and Pompous Ass. I wonder how do I always get trapped into going to these family trips when I know fully well what is going to happen. :/

But, I also had fun with my cousins, who were thankfully not those holier-than-thou types. Phew. And also, because this time, we had gone to Girnar in Gujrat and the main objective was to go on the Lion Safari. :D And I saw real lions and some other awesome animals and birds! :D Woohoo!! :D Will put up pictures soon as I get them from my cousins. :) Trips, even the crappy ones, make me happy. :)


  1. One of my uncles has also started talking about my marriage. UGH. Why, WHY do relatives insist on poking their filthy noses into other people's affairs?

  2. I agree! The Pompous Ass uncle drives me even more up the wall than the Bastard uncle. My parents are not worried but the whole neighbourhood is. :/

  3. I hate these touchy feely creeps. I told my dad to tell one of them not to ever do it again and he was like you say, it will have more effect :/
    Its a pain saying it. They are bound to do wide eyed innocent uncley looks. ugh. I am angry
    and i also have a cold. Maybe why i am ranting ;/

  4. Oh no! The Bastard and the Pompous Ass!! EVERY family has one these. Wait. Every Indian family.
    And Gujarat! I want to go back! Preferably in winter.

  5. @ HG: Hehe, actually, I think your dad's probably right. Coz I screamed loudly at him in front of his wife (who btw, was standing by and laughing, stupid lady!). I doubt if he will come within 10 feet of me anytime soon. :P And I hope you feel better soon! ~Hugs~

    @ June: Yes, winter. Wise choice, that would be! I was boiling over there! :/

  6. Well, you can't ABSOLUTELY live with them! And wish there was a way to avoid them, you try and you get lectures like: "It's a family have to be there! If it upsets you so much don't take it to heart...they are elders, they will say that!" Oh god! Really!