Wednesday, March 2, 2011

"I haven't been tempted even for a moment."

So, I was talking to S after a long, long time yesterday and it almost made me cry. I am not sure if I have mentioned this before but S and M have been engaged for a while now and are planning a May wedding. S is just so happy with M and planning her wedding is probably the biggest headache of her life but she is still so blissfully happy. There is no end to the amount of problems she is having because of this relationship and this wedding. She kept telling me that she would never have survived it if it wasn't for M's love. And frankly I tell her that even with all the love, I wouldn't have been able to survive it. That's when she smiled and glowingly told me that one sentence which shook me to the core: "I haven't been tempted even for a moment."

S is American, M is Italian and they met in England when M was working there. Now, M has got business in Italy and has to move there. S is a scholarship student in England and so, will have a long, bureaucratic process involving never ending papers and visits to various consulates so that she can move to Italy with M. S has got an ENORMOUS family in New York and so, she only wants to get married there. But, M's mother is very old fashioned and believes that the ceremony should only happen in Italy because they are the boy's family. (ugh.) And anyway, there are some complications because of the whole internationality of it because of which they need to get married legally in Italy first and only then go to America for the actual wedding. (phew. That was complicated even to write. Can't imagine it happening to someone.)  They have no clue how long the bureaucratic process will take, when can they legally get married, if they can happily get married in New York, when can M apply for a visa to America and when can they actually have the ceremony. And in the middle of all this extremely fatiguing mess, M's sister hates S. And when I say hate, I mean HATE. Like, she vindictively hates her. Everything that happens is somehow S's fault. So much so, that the sister is in the fifth year of a 3-year PhD programme and even that is somehow, S's fault. Even though S met M exactly a year ago.

But in the end, it is not all this that matters. What really matters is that S has not been temped even for a moment. That is what I want for myself. Not to be tempted even for a moment. 


  1. I love this post. I have always known i can only marry a fellow mallu, not that it stopped me from checking out what else is out there :p But i knew i couldnt handle the whole christian/muslim drama and also that no amount of louw would make me. I recently read a blog where this girl married a christian and his mum still dislikes her and she is still trying to get them to like her. and she said at the end: if i had to do it all over again, she wouldnt. I guess there is all kinds. Your friend seems really positive and happy :)

  2. @ Mepretentious: Me too!! Especially when it's with people I like. :D

    @ HG: Yes, S is really special. She is never sure of and worries endlessly about completely pointless littlest of the things. But she is so sure of the important things in her life, it's a marvel! :D And I feel really sorry for that girl whose blog you read. Not in a patronizing way or anything. But, I never want to be found in a situation where I have to say that dedicating so many years of my life to a profession/ a man/ a family/ my children was a mistake that I regret. You know what I mean?

  3. That was a phew love story with complications galore! S has so much to deal with, where is the time to get tempted?

  4. Well. re instates my earlier view - marriages are complicated. if you are not the one who prefers the feel good factor of love over the feel good factor of simple peace at mind - Never marry.

  5. @ Purba: heh. True, that! :P

    @ survivingbrain: I really desperately want to say that I will go for the feel good factor of love but even when I think it, I know I won't. I don't have that kind of conviction in me. :/

  6. That is what I want for myself too!!!!

  7. If a few years down the line, S and M are able to look back fondly at all this madness, then it's worth it all!! :)
    (First time here. :))

  8. @ Shinji: Amen. :D

    @ Gypsy: Thanks for dropping by! :) And I certainly do hope that both of them look back on these days lovingly. :)