Sunday, January 23, 2011

Taking Off

This is ridiculous. I feel like a fucking emotional atom-bomb, ready to burst at the slightest touch. Two days ago, a sweet email forward made me cry. It's absolutely stupid and time to get a hold on myself. So, I made a list of things that give me unadulterated happiness:

  1. Playing with toddlers. It makes me feel innocent and like a child myself. It was also one of the things that saved me from going absolutely crazy on The Dreaded Trip week before last. My nieces and nephews are a boon from God and very soon, I am going to steal at least two of them and run away to a far, far place. :P
  2. Music. Though, I have had it on most of the time in the last month and still felt like shit. But, it helps nonetheless.
  3. Dancing. Even when I was on The Dreaded Trip (and I will definitely write a series of posts about it soon) dancing kept me happy. Even though it was dancing on religious music in a temple.
  4. Nature. Trees, flowers and the moon. 
  5. Candles. Extremely soothing.
  6. Travel.
  7. Watching cartoons. All the depression not withstanding, Popeye made me forget everything else and laugh for a few minutes yesterday and it felt as if I had genuinely laughed after a few years! 
So, basically, I need to make a plan to get myself out of the doldrums and take control of my life once again. Because you know, it's nobody else's responsibility but mine to keep myself happy and out of misery. 

I already have started doing something about it. I have joined the last level of learning French at Alliance Francaise and oh, the joys of being a student once again! :) I have switched to part time work now, which ensures that I get enough time to socialise, study, write and just have some me-time. I will stay here until the end of May, when my French course finishes because this job offers me good flexibility (at least at the moment) and then, start looking for a better place. Also, the boss is being kinder than before after learning about my commute hours and so, is giving me more work to do at home so that I don't have to travel all the way everyday. This makes it so much more bearable. 

Secondly, I started making a list of all the places I want to go to so that I can plan and budget my trips. Because, the one thing that I am sure of is that I want to travel. But, then I realised that I want to go everywhere!! :P So, short term plans on this one. For now, I think I will visit Kyra, Sara and another friend in Banglore, sometime early March. We can re-live our Leeds time together and also, I can fool myself into thinking that I had a vacation. ;)

Thirdly, definitely, I will socialise more with family and friends so that a) I can keep my sanity; b) I can meet my nieces and nephews more often and c) I can be there for my friends when they need me. 

Minor things like listening to music, watching more films (especially comedies) and reading more books go without saying. There, I have a plan now. Now, all I have to do is make myself feel some motivated to start doing at least one of the things. The rest of the motivation will come from doing that thing. Or, so I hope. We shall see. I will keep you updated. :)


  1. I like. :)
    Let me know if you wanna catch up for a drink when you're here.

  2. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. you're coming!

  3. Great! Spirits are flourishing already.
    And here too. And am trying to discover and re-discover some hidden talents.

    May God bless you! Too little talent on earth and most of it tangled in human miseries.
    Rise up and Live!

  4. June, definitely! It'll be for the first time that I'll meet a fellow blogger (except of course, my friends) :D

    Kyra, That's the enthusiasm I was hoping for! ;)

    Mepretentious, thanks for revisiting! :) And thanks for the encouragement and uplifting messages! :D

  5. CD!!! Wow! Why do all of us have these things at the same time! I dunno why I threw that fit on you two days back....I should've probably known you were going through some stuff too....Dammmnnnn!!!

  6. Dishy! Are you kidding me?! You HAVE to throw these fits when you have to. I would much rather you get it out of your system like you did this time than bottle it up like you do everytime. And you now know why. So, don't even think of this rubbish. I can deal with my stuff. Don't you know about the balls of steal? ;)

  7. alright. apologies for sneaking in, but isnt the "balls of steel" thing a man thing?


  8. hehe! Where did you even find that phrase in this post? And balls is a man thing, not balls of steel. :P

    Actually, Sun and Sun's dad always used to tell me that I am brave and have balls of steel. (Which is obviously why it freaks me out that I am being so ridiculous now a days) Which is why it is a standing phrase between us. :)