When you watch THE worst play ever, you torture your blog-readers with its details

I watched the world's worst play EVER yesterday. A Gujarati play called "Ek Aham ni Rani" (An Arrogant Queen.) I often watch Gujarati plays with my family on Sundays. Gujarati theatre is a very good place to be, actually. It's doing really great, with good actors, directors and ideas generally. But, then, once in a while, you get such shit, you want to stop watching Gujarati theatre altogether!

Anyway, Ek Aham ni Rani is directed by Latesh Shah and the lead character is a very famous Gujarati actress, Sujata Mehta. Yesterday was actually it's premier show. Now,  Latesh Shah is actually this person who has built a whole company based on various spiritual things. He has taken teachings and precepts from all sorts of things, like Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, Osho, Yoga, Meditation, Hindu philosophy, Jainism etc and built his own "positive thinking" and "power of love" kind of spiritual khichdi. And this play can be best described as an advertisement of his stuff. Yea, I know!!

Ok, I need bullet marks from here onwards.

• The show was supposed to start at 8:30 pm and started at 9:45 pm. The excuse: Obama and traffic in the city. Answer: organisation and good planning.
• Since they were late, they tried to do things quickly coz the hall has to be emptied by midnight. And, they said dialogues so fast that I could only understand half of them.
• Also, since they were running late, they left a few loose ends without tying them up and I don't think they were supposed to be left that way.
• There was one dialogue in there, for which I hate the play with all my heart and soul: "Of course a woman should aim high and fulfil all her aspirations. But she should never forget that she is also a house wife. The home and all its relationships have to be held together by the woman of the house." If thoughts could kill, the dialogue writer and the director would have been dead about 138 times by now. 
• Latesh Shah probably tried to experiment with the character of Sutradhar (narrator) but it was one of the worst sutradhars I've ever seen. He himself played that character and kept saying things like, "If you think positive, everything positive will happen. You can't decide in your head what is going to happen. You have to take that risk." or "You should praise people. You know, if you praise people, they will be pleased and they will work harder for you. Show appreciation and you will lead a peaceful life, both at work and at home." Thank you very much, Mr. Shah but if I wanted to know this kind of stuff, I'll go and buy a Robin Sharma type self-help book. When I come to watch a play, I want entertainment. 
• There is a teenage daughter, who started "drinking, smoking, doing drugs and finally, tried to commit suicide" to escape the realities at home because her mother was so busy with all the work, she could never give her any time. May I point out that the father was a real estate broker who used to work from home? Is he not equally guilty of the girl feeling the need to resort to intoxication because the atmosphere at home is so volatile? 
• The acting was mediocre at best. The lead character often messed up the pronunciation of words while trying to say things. And the English of the characters! "Make sure that both of them doesn't get away with cheating on my company." "What a confidence!" 

I will stop now. I don't want to think about it more and give myself a headache. Or lose my readers. I hate self-help books and I would have gladly read one instead of watching this play. That, I think, speaks volumes about it. If this play ever comes to your city or if you ever think of watching it, be warned, it's going to make you want to throw up. I want my ruined Sunday and my money's worth back. hmph.